I've been dealing with anxiety in one form or another for the entirety of my life. When I was a kid I dealt with Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD), I couldn't spend a single night away from home. I would get to my friend's house, have a great time until about midnight / 1am, and like clockwork, the waterworks would start and the panic would set in. Time to call Mom and Dad.
As I grew older, the SAD seemed to be not as noticeable, or at least I just learned to cope with it. Once I reached adulthood, it changed and mutated into a whole other beast known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder. This made it hard to pin point any triggers, or find specific ways to deal with the panic attacks. For a long time, every morning I would wake up with a knot in my chest, my guts churning and my brain going at a non-stop pace of "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" I tried multiple types of coping methods from Cognitive Brain Therapy exercises, to medications, to psychologists, psychiatrists, and over the phone counseling. I read books, downloaded apps, anything to help me to get the anxiety flare ups under control. Mind you, this is was also the most stressful time of my life. Finishing University, starting a new job, starting a new relationship, my poor body was under constant stress and never got a break, and if I did have a break (usually between semesters) I'd end up with a cold, flu, you name it. At times it never really felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and my coping mechanism was to make sure I had every minute of every day completely booked up. I needed to find a better way to take care of myself and to help me cope with the anxiety. Hobbies helped, but as they do, over time, they changed. The one thing that stayed constant for me was my love for Halloween and costumes! I knew about cosplay and tried it out once, but it wasn’t an overly great experience. The very first time I went to Fan Expo Vancouver and saw all of the cosplayers there, I knew that this was something I needed to do, it completely changed my perspective. I started to heavily get into designing my costumes and brainstorming which characters I could dress up as... So how does this link to the anxiety, you’re wondering. Well here it is...When I showed up all dressed up as Hexidecimal from ReBoot I felt unstoppable. I was a whole new person! I felt like I could do anything, because for once, I wasn’t my anxiety ridden self. I was relaxed, I was confident, I was my old self again. People would stop me and ask for photos, give me compliments, it was the most invigorating feeling I had ever experienced. I look forward to every convention and that day of celebrity status and just the feeling of freedom. It's electric and contagious! That was the year that started it all for me. It allowed me to break out of my shell and feel normalcy again. Now that I have been doing cosplay for so many years, on top of doing my CBT exercises, I officially feel level and more comfortable with myself. Cosplay has been a huge part in curbing the anxiety disorder to the point where I now consider it “in remission”. I did some further investigation on the interwebs to find that I am not alone in this endeavour. Cosplay has played a huge roll in helping other people with anxiety disorders as well amongst other things. If you haven’t tried cosplay, I recommend you at least try it once, just to feel the thrill of it and better understand it, or at least spend a day with a cosplayer to see the world through their eyes. If you live with anxiety, I whole heartedly suggest you try cosplay. I know it’s scary at first, but it will help you break down the barriers of your everyday life and open up a whole new world of opportunity and possibility. Here are a couple articles I found on the web that I found extremely inspiring and definitely worth a read! This first one is from a Therapist in Chicago, she talks about the benefits of Cosplay helping people. You can read this here. The second is an article similar to the one I am writing right now, of a cosplayer who’s journey certainly resembles my own. You can read it here. Don’t ever be afraid to reach out for help, there is a huge community of people going through the same thing as you. And whether you go into cosplay or not, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Anxiety is a real disorder, it is debilitating but it is not life threatening and there is always a way out. You’re not alone out there, and I hope that the story I have just shared with you gives you a small bit of inspiration.
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